Tuesday, April 11, 2006

The Dark Side of the mind...........


The past 10 days have been characterised by a singular feeling of disenchantment, disillusion and general sceptism..so what, pray, would be the reasons for the same ? ...

Well...
There are many...
One is the frustration that has come about as a result of existing in a system that is concerned about quantity...my great MBA institute is adding more courses by the day, with scarce regard to educational considerations... as it is, the value addition provided by this course is limited only to presentation skills, and then, topping it off with a slew of other mindless courses is actually the icing on the cake...people never knew why they came here...and now we are going to have more of that...how and why do commercial considerations become so important that they start to drive the future of educational institutions is a great mystery, and I don't think I will be able to find the answer to this one....


Another great fount of despair gushes forth...and this time, it owes its origin to the observation that all people everywhere suffer from one great basic need - and no, it is not hunger or sex...it is the need of being listened to.....everyone is looking for that someone who will be the one person who listens to what they have to say....and this reality just burst upon me like a bright Catherine wheel on a moonless night...
....One night..and a friend and I were sitting at the beach...having beer and a general discussion on how things change between friends et cetera et cetera....when my friend says something to a guy standing nearby...I don't know what he said..but that guy comes and sits down beside us....the warning bells in my head start to go off at full speed....but this guy is also drunk, like us...and he tells us that he is not having a good time...he does not have a job...and we reassure him that it will not last forever...that one has to have patience, and faith , that someone up there is watching, and will get us out of the spot...the poor chap apparently felt reassured and probably happy after we had stopped talking..so he went back to his friends and got us a bottle of beer seeing that we did not have any.....

Well..this incident occurs almost everyday with me...I give a patient hearing to peoples' issues...I tell them the way to go, the road to choose....but where do I go when its my turn ?? Who do I talk to ? Who will dispel my doubts and fears ? Who will tell me that it's ok..things will all be for the better...Sadly..the answer to all these questions is - Nobody...and...the best part is...after a few minutes of feeling helpless and lonely..I realise that the only person who will help me is my own self...so I give myself a stroke...and go back to living..until it is time for the next moment of despair...